Have you ever wondered what makes some marriages satisfying, evolving and the ability to endure over the long haul. Although love is often a mystery, it’s a commitment to growth, happiness and fulfillment of each other. Love, more than anything else warms the heart and soul. In a truly loving relationship the feeling is always with you. You must nurture love and work at it to make it ever lasting.
Here is what you can do to make your relationship the best it can be.
Trust : You must trust that your spouse will always be there for you. You can never ( as much as you would like to) control your spouse’s thoughts or actions. The only thing that jealousy and trust accomplishes is destroying trust.
Open Communication: The number one reason that marriages fail is the lack of communicating with each other. Couples need to make sure that they spend as much time listening as they do talking. Although we all wish our spouses could be mind readers, we have to give up that myth. Sorry! Let your spouse know what you need and want. The more specific the better. Blaming, finger pointing, accusing and all that stuff does nothing except cause your spouse to become self protective and defensive.
Accept yourself and your spouse: Some of us believe that marriage will miraculously cure all of our self doubts, problems, flaws, and imperfections. In order for a marriage to flourish you have to accept yourself for who you are and yes accept your spouse for who they are. The show “ I love you, you’re perfect now change” is a great example of what not to do.
How to Balance Me and We: Love encourages personal growth of each other. When your spouse truly values your hopes and aspirations it will give you the green light to pursue your dreams. Each partner must feel that it is okay to pursue personal goals, interests or hobbies. The more you grow and develop personally the more you can give of yourself to the marriage. It is a very delicate balance. You must make sure that the scale is not tipped in “me time” at the expense of the marriage. Spending “quality time apart.” can actually bring you closer together. Remember you might not be ziplining with your partner but you will reap the benefits of a happier spouse.
Commitment: Partners who are committed to working together on their relationship have the greatest chance of making love last. When couples successfully deal with life’s crisis their feelings of love and security also grows.
Become your Partner’s Cheerleader: One of the biggest complaints that couples have told me is that their partners take them for granted. When the romance was intense each partner showed their appreciation all the time. Keeping love alive takes work, tenderness and care. The next time you are out to dinner with friends talk about how thoughtful your husband was when you started a new job he had dinner waiting for you when you got home or when you are out on the soccer field tell all the soccer moms that your wife is the best thing that has ever happened to you!
Respect: Respecting your spouse is critical if you want to ensure that your love will be everlasting. Respect more than anything else tells your spouse that their feelings and their thoughts are as important to you as it is to them. Sometimes you just have to “respect to disagree.”
Affection: Displaying affection is top on my list to make love last. Think of what you did when you were dating. A gentle touch, a longing glance, a kiss for no reason, holding hands when your spouse least expects it.
Say I Love You: Nothing resonates than hearing I love you from your spouse.
Facing Conflict: Couples who tackle conflict rather than avoid it help their love endure.
Let’s recap on how to make love last
and now lets talk about the Love Insurance Policy
All you have to do is purchase the “ love insurance policy.” Love insurance is not expensive it is priceless. Just do the following and your love insurance policy will always be there for you!
The Love Insurance Policy Rules:
1. The more you see your spouse as the most attractive, fabulous catch on the face of the planet the happier you will be. There is something to be said that love is blind
2. Don’t discuss tough topics before dinner, eat first!
3. Treat each other like fine china and not an old shoe
4. Say thank you and please
5. Remember birthdays, anniversaries, and other important dates
6. Call if you are going to be late
7. On a snowy day, say be careful driving
8. Give an occasional gift for no reason
9. Flirt with your spouse
10. Put the toilet seat down
11. Help lighten the load of your spouse
12. Laugh together
13. Dream together
14. Do something special together
15. Say I am sorry
16. Keep things interesting
17. Practice teamwork
18. Don’t sweat the small stuff
19. Create alone time
20. Say I love you…
21. Never leave each other without a kiss
22. Have a date night